ebony
ivory
I see the world in black and white...

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Blog Chalk
India, Female, 22, live on tonnes of books, lots of music, much more hope, some incoherent philosophising, and swear by Ayn Rand and Pink Floyd. Very stubborn and don't want to change. Trying very hard to become an engineer. In love with life... And Newton :)

Small Talk

Life in archives
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005

Blog Truths
"Can I be as I believe myself or as others believe me to be? Here is where these lines become a confession in the presence of my unknown and unknowable me, unknown and unknowable for myself. Here is where I create the legend where I must bury myself."
--Miguel De Unamuno.

Current read

Linking Park
Book-A-Minute
Paperbacks: Love And Longing In Bombay -Vikram Chandra, Eleven Minutes -Paulo Coelho (Still trying! Can't get past the S&M bit. THE BOOK SUCKS!)
E-books: Da Vinci Code -Dan Brown


Thank ye!

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Wednesday, June 23, 2004
MYAAAAWWWWNING!

Errr... I had nothing to do..

Errr... I was bored..

Errr... I am on a holiday..

Errr... I have changed so much in the last 6 months!

Errr.. SO MANY PEOPLE WRITE THEIR 100 THINGS!

Errr... Maybe I should stop justifying why I re-wrote my 100 things and redirect you here

Don't sue me!


Monday, June 21, 2004
Wedding Bells!

What's dull is too dull for my already dullish face.

What's bright is too bright for my rather sober (read boring) taste.

What looks good on the mannequin doesn't necessarily have to look good on me.

What doesn't look good even on the mannequin can never in my wildest dreams look good on me.

Begaani shaadi mein abdullah deewana! GAH!

I would rather eat at home than waste so much time and energy on buying a nice salwaar kameez, getting all decked up, and having all the oversized aunties pull my already oversized cheeks and go gaga over how much I've grown up since they last saw me!

DAMN THE WEDDING SEASON!


Sunday, June 20, 2004
The Wall Stands Tall! :P

Mindblowing smile, the cutest laugh ever, the best southie accent in Hindi, the smartest answers (albeit a little less confident that usual, because of the language obviously!)... That's my darrrlingo Dravido!

Nope.. Didn't meet him. I just saw his interview on AajTak. He so totally rocks! And people I'm looking for hired killers to kill that Prabhu Chawla guy. He can't talk crap my Dravido and get away with it. HMPH!

*sigh* I'm in love all over again. Someone keep guys with cute southie accents (cute, not thick ok?) away from me. I hate getting so lovesick! :P


Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Detachment?

A few months back, I used to be scared of losing people who mean the world to me, things that matter to me... Somewhere down the line, I learnt how to accept losses of any kind. I've reached a stage where I know the only person I can really trust and totally depend on is myself. I know I'll hurt for sometime if I lose what matters to me, but there's nothing that can keep me low for long. At long last, I've learnt how to take care of myself. (Stop laughing Newton, this time I'm not lying!)

I wonder why love no longer feels like something I can lose myself completely in. It's not that I'm cautious. I'm soaking in every minute, all the while knowing that it might be something that won't last forever. Is that pessimism? But it's not stopping me from giving my relationship every bit I can. But the level expectations aren't what they used to be.

Is this what they call detachment? Is it really good for relationships? Does this mean I'm willing to give more space to my loved ones?

Is this what they call growing up? Am I supposed to learn to live with what they call maturity? Does that mean I'll never be able to lose myself completely again?


Sunday, June 13, 2004
On My Way Home...

(This post was written on the train, during the last few hours of my journey back home.)

The train's finally quiet, thanks to the books and cassettes my co-passengers are carrying. The strains of Tears In Heaven have almost transported me to an entirely different world, and it's drizzling outside. Life couldn't get better. :)

This is easily one the best train journeys I've made in the last three years, barring a couple that I had to make alone due to circumstances. As someone who prefers travelling alone, it was definitely not a very welcome co-incidence when I saw a stream of familiar faces at the platform, and then in my compartment, moreso because of the big year down. I hate having to explain it to people who've known me from school. And the topic obviously comes up. I didn't know then what was in store for me.

Within ten minutes of having left Pune station, the "Hey you are from Notre Dame, right?"s began and soon we were a gang of ten, discussing old teachers, the bomb blast episode, and the likes and laughing at the top of our voices, much to the chagrin of people around us. Though all of us remembered Sister Joan and all the pranks we used to play on her during our Value Ed, English and music classes, we'd conveniently forgotten her biggest lesson- Concern. LOL!

Seriosuly, the complete lack of people I can relate with in college is easily compensated by some of the most amazing people I knew way back in school.

Another think that struck me a while ago was that it's the simple things in life that are the most wonderful, tha make us the happiest... Chai in kulhads (earthen cups), being surrounded by mountains and watch the light drizzle from the window, old school jokes, a small pep talk by someone who's seen more of life, stolen sms and phone conversations every time the phone is within coverage area... And of course waiting to give ma a big bear hug the moment I see her at the station, waiting to bug my sister with the same old jokes... :)

Why do we still crib about things like not having the right pair of shoes, or the latest pair of Levis... AAAARGH! I still think those shoes and jeans are important... Why am I kidding myself? :P

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I'm back at home now... Finally! There's so much to talk about and so little to do that's it's hard to believe that it was the same me who had crazily depressed and overworked phases and overplayed PMSes only 15 days back.

Life's good, no doubt! :)


Thursday, June 10, 2004
Homeward Bound

Yep! 6 months and too many bouts of desperate homesickness later, I'm leaving for home tonight. YAYAYAYYYYY!!!! :D:D:D

That's about all I have to say today! :D

A Sort of Homecoming
-U2

And you know it's time to go
Through the sleet and driving snow
Across the fields of mourning
Light in the distance

And you hunger for the time
Time to heal, desire, time
And your earth moves beneath
Your own dream landscape

Oh, oh, oh...
On borderland we run...

I'll be there
I'll be there...
Tonight
A high road
A high road out from here

The city walls are all pulled down
The dust, a smoke screen all around
See faces ploughed like fields that once
Gave no resistance

And we live by the side of the road
On the side of a hill
As the valley explode
Dislocated, suffocated
The land grows weary of its own

Oh, oh, oh...on borderland we run...
And still we run
We run and don't look back
I'll be there
I'll be there
Tonight
Tonight

I'll be there tonight...I believe
I'll be there...somehow
I'll be there...tonight
Tonight

The wind will crack in winter time
This bomb-blast lightning waltz
No spoken words, just a scream...

Tonight we'll build a bridge
Across the sea and land
See the sky, the burning rain
She will die and live again
Tonight

And your heart beats so slow
Through the rain and fallen snow
Across the fields of mourning
Light's in the distance

Oh don't sorrow, no don't weep
For tonight, at last
I am coming home
I am coming home


Or maybe a couple of other things too... Like...
1. WATCH HUM TUM... They don't make such cute movies all the time.. And girls, in case you don't like the movie, I'm telling you Abhishek's 15 minute special appearance is worth the throuble! PHEW!

2. Psssttt... Alpha's back!

The next time I see you people I'll be home... And soooo full of food! CAN'T WAIT! :D:D:D


Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Back For A Bit

So I'm finally done with exams. A great day for freedom. Especially because they were good. :)

In a hurry... Just ordered pizza... And the guy's going to be here soon. :D

So more later!

(Do I sound BORED? That's because I am... SUPER BORED in fact! I should be partying and I'm going to spend the entire night packing alllll my kachra in a huge carton. Screw the hostel authorities. The whole "vacate the room completely" funda! What's worse is that all my friends have nothing better to do than check their emails. Or sit around and have coffee. We sure are getting old! *sigh* It doesn't even feel like the last day of exmas!)

Maybe tomorrow's post will be a more interesting one... And I'll have a lot more to write outside parentheses! LOL!

(Dunno why this update seems more like some sort of a routine... Something I HAVE to do... It's boring the shit out of me, people!)