ebony
ivory
I see the world in black and white...

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Blog Chalk
India, Female, 22, live on tonnes of books, lots of music, much more hope, some incoherent philosophising, and swear by Ayn Rand and Pink Floyd. Very stubborn and don't want to change. Trying very hard to become an engineer. In love with life... And Newton :)

Small Talk

Life in archives
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005

Blog Truths
"Can I be as I believe myself or as others believe me to be? Here is where these lines become a confession in the presence of my unknown and unknowable me, unknown and unknowable for myself. Here is where I create the legend where I must bury myself."
--Miguel De Unamuno.

Current read

Linking Park
Book-A-Minute
Paperbacks: Love And Longing In Bombay -Vikram Chandra, Eleven Minutes -Paulo Coelho (Still trying! Can't get past the S&M bit. THE BOOK SUCKS!)
E-books: Da Vinci Code -Dan Brown


Thank ye!

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Friday, January 28, 2005
Cold Cold Heart

Sometimes I honestly wonder what has happened to my sensitivity... If you have read my old blog, you would probably know what I am talking about. The absolutely cold practicality of one of my friends has rubbed off on me bigtime. Honestly, is there one problem in the world that cannot be solved by practicality and detachment? I don't think so. How else can you explain my unnaturally upbeat disposition at any given time these days, especially when the one thing that my life revolves around is not really going great guns.

This friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend of 3 months a few weeks back. Now this girl has handled failure pretty well. But I don't understand why she fails to understand that some things are just not meant to be. And the ONLY thing one can do about it is accept it, move on, and get over it, no matter what it takes. And more so because right now she's in the most crucial semester of her undergrad studies. I have told her the same things at least a hundred times, but she is just not willing to understand. I honestly wonder if she would want to trade her life with mine... The most understanding parents in the world, an out of this world fantabulastic sis, an amazing boyfriend, grrrreat friends, and constant failure for no fault of mine. But come to think of it, I don't want to trade my life with anyone else's. I love it, with all its ups and downs.

I sometimes feel along with the practicality, there's a whole lot of new found insensitivity in me, especially for people who over-dramatize, over-romanticize (yeah, that too!) their problems. Been there, done that. Probably that is why this deep rooted hatred for weaklings and cribpots. Probably that is why the very thought of breaking down and not being able to handle my problems repels me. I can still listen to people's problems, but all I can do is give coldly practical solutions, because in my book of life, there's no other way.

All for the best I guess.



Sunday, January 23, 2005
Nirvana

Jim Morrison, Pearl Jam, Jimi Hendrix, Steve Vai, GNR, Led Zep, Beatles... And the only religion I know... All in one night... Live.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is Vayu for you.

And all of it topped with the company of this kinda cute guy who kept giving me amused looks because he couldn't listen to the lead vocalist because I waas screaming into his ears! HMPH!

I think I've finally attained nirvana. :D



Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Anniversary...

... And all... :):):)

1 year of endless laughter, tears, arguements, misunderstandings, reassurance, music, vodka shots, poems, teasing, irritating, fighting, grinning for no reason, movies, hours of YM chats, night long telephone conversations, huge telephone bills, letters, cards, emails, couriers and a whole lot more later, Newton my dear, thank your stars for me! :P

You ROCK! :D



Sunday, January 16, 2005
Of Ghar Ka Khana and Cancelled Treks

Last afternoon, after a whole lot of confusion because of a cursed phone that he owns, I finally met Jabberwhacky, his simply amazing wife who's someone you like instinctively, his adorable 7 and a half year old (who gets full marks in his exams mind you!) and his adorably shy 3 year old who didn't want to look at me for some strange reason! Maybe next time I'll take a box of chocolates only for him. Tricks like that definitely work with me! OH AND I ATE GHAR KA KHANA... Now that's more than enough to make me worship someone for the rest of my life. LOL!

And I also realised that I could actually have a good time with someone who doesn't agree with anything that I believe in. I said it to you once JW, and I'm saying it again. I was never known for my tact, and if I was rude during any part of the argument, I'm sorry. I really am.

I also saw this entire treasure of his poems and articles written at different points in time... Poetry on old torn pages yellow-ed with time... That itself inspires poetry. Maybe someday when JW becomes a famous poet, I'll brag about having had lunch with him and having seen original transcripts of his most famous poems!
Another thing that was totally endearing was him fixing me up with a relative of his... 6 feet tall, uniform, AFMC, doc, FROM MY STATE... It doesn't get better than this, does it? Errr did I give you my dad's number JW? I think I WILL get married right away after all! LOL!

Jokes apart, I had a whale of a time... I don't really have a way with words like you do, so I'll keep it simple- THANK YOU! :)

As for my Sunday, you can imagine how bad it can get when you plan to go on a trek and you actually end up getting injected because of a stupid nail that happened to find its way to your foot. Come to think of it, it was the other way round. All the powers of the world aren't enough to make me visit a doc and get myself injected but dad screaming at the other end of the phone threatening to fly down immediately if I don't get it done is a different story altogether! And I actually got myself injected on my own, without digging in mom's arm till it bled (that's NOT a metaphor, I've actually done that once!). And guess what, I didn't even scream my lungs out! God I must be growing up finally! Amen to that.

On a different note, I have noticed that I don't blog with half as much "sincerity" (for the lack of a better word) as I used to. I just blabber like there's no tomorrow. I think I need some damage control here. Maybe a break would do me good.



Friday, January 14, 2005
The Ol' Times Revisited

There is darkness now, where there used to be a shining star.
The glow has faded, the light's gone.
I know only where I have been, for I'm living what is the unknown.
I have no destination... I wander aimlessly.
A shell of my former self... My reflection holds no resemblance of who I use to be .
I must go in search of myself... To seek and find the light again.


This is not meant to sound like poetry, so don't kill me for it! One of my moodswings I guess... Been a while... I think I kinda missed it. Heh!

Oh and that reminds me, HER MOODSWINGS BACK TOO! The blogworld has suddenly begun to feel like home all over again! Welcome back, Maddie mine! :)



Sunday, January 09, 2005
HAPPY Birthday :)

Ok so yesterday I celebrated wasting 22 years of my life... AND HOW! Man oh man! It was one of the BEST birthdays I've celebrated my long old life. Here's how it started.

On 7th night my friends kicked me out of my room and out of their room as well because apparently the preparation for the "Big Event" had started, with the packing of gifts and making an awesome canopy-like thing for me to sleep in on my birthday. LOL!

At the stroke of 12, I was happily watching When Harry Met Sally for the nth time totally oblivious to what was happening. Ok who am I fooling? I couldn't waqit to see what was happening in my room. LOL! So I was welcomed into a room decorated with flowers and ballons and streamers. Ok so it was my room, but somehow it looked too clean! That's the one gift I am thankful for... I so won't need to clean my room for next 6 months! And what awaited me was a yummmmmmyyyyyyyyyy dark chocolate cake, 5 things neatly wrapped and all, a huuuuuuge handmade card (which touched me btw... My friends really think way too much of me it seems! :P) my closest friends, the irritating but nice roomies and their friends, Summer Of '69 blaring out of the speakers, and roses and, ladies hold your breath, WHITE CARNATIONS!!! WHOOOPPPPEEEE! So someone finally gave me white carnations, what if they were all girls! HMPH! STOP SMIRKING WILL YA? I couldn't wait for too long to hog that extremely inviting cake and that's what I did! The party ended soon after the whole cake eating ceremony, and mind you we don't smear cake on each others' faces, we're very skin-conscious people alright? :D After god knows how many phone calls and smses later, I dozed off comfortably. Not happily. Not yet. Will explain this some time.

8th night was even better. After dinner at Burger Barn with the 3 musketeers, Chandu, Yoss, and Jaaaaaaaanu (who is Jadu for the time being for the simple reason that that ass slept off long before 12 and didn't wish me till 11 on 8th morning. He's so gonna have to make up for it!), and Praj, we set off to look for Soho's, where apparently a friend of Chandu's had had a WHALE OF A TIME a coupla days back. After a lot of searching in almost every nook and corner of that part of the town, when we fianlly got to Soho's, it turned out to be a damp squib. Of course its a decent place for a nice quite date, all the wining and dining and soft music and no entry charge. But what we were looking for was some DHINTADAAAANNNNG DANCING, in spite of my two thunder thighs and left feet! LMAO! So finally Scream it was... We freaking owned the place for 900 bucks. Or so we thought. Once the hotsies like us are on the dance floor, "crowd" can't be too far away.The music kept getting better, we kept getting more enthu, and 3 hours, a pint of beer, and a raped-ripped pair of sandals, a lost earring and broken specs later, and a little "miseducation" about how to earn money on nights like these, and how to steal chicken from plates of anassuming dancers (blame it on Chandu and Yoss, I'm really not that cheap. Only a little...), I was ECSTATIC!

A few lessons...
1. Never let friends should never break up on your birthday, especially if one of them is a psycho. It doesn't stop bugging you till you start dancing!
2. Never ever wear a cheap pair of strappy Fashion street sandals when you go dancing. If walking in heels isn't your cup of tea, trust me you won't be too good at handling heels while dancing. Imagine having to walk out of Le Meridian with sandals in your hand... I cringe at the memory!
3. When you want to headbang, ask your more careful friends to hold your specs for you.
4. Always dance with Yoss, it makes you two left feet look good. HEEEHAWHAWHAAWWWHAWWWW! Only I can get away with saying that. Yoss boss, dontcha worry, will kill any girl who says that about you. LMAOOOOO!
5. There's a difference between being comfortable and being happy. Most of the time I'm either comfortable or PMS-sy. And just when I was beginning to give up on happiness, along come my wonderful pals, and tell me it's not time yet.
6. You can't have everything. My ideal birthday would be with my family, Newton, AND all my friends . But I guess that's not going to happen for years on end. Till then I'll have to be happy with either Ma, Dad, and Shruts eating Chicken Biryani alone to celebrate my birthday or with a million phone calls from friends pouring in all day on my dad's cell back home! And when will Newton be around on my birthday?

And the gifts...
1. The huuuuuge handmade card that talks in code language about all my various loves at various points in time in the last few years, and tells me how absolutely awesome I am... Check this out-Here's wishing you ALLLLLLL the love in the world...
All the stars, and the MOON!
Every morning may the roosters and the HENS give you your wake up call
May you have the wisdom of NEWTON
The aim on your goal like ARJUN
The coolness of ice CANDY
And of course, JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANUUUUUU!!!
(Don't expect any of you to understand this. Heh heh heh!)

And this-Like a burst of fresh air that fills one's senses- Your laughterLike the fire that lights up the dark- Your jest for lifeLike the water that quenches a thirsty throat- Your presenceLike the earth that gives one hope- Your resilienceLike the sky... Forever - Our friendship!Let the elements join together and wish you A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!Told ya, they think too much of me. *grin*

2. A huge laminated poster that explains how I learnt the most important lessons in my life from chocolates!
3. A Crossword gift voucher worth 250 bucks! YEAH BABY!
4. A lovely coffee mug. Black Beauty is what I call it. FANTABULASTIC!
5. A very pretty yellow notepad made of handmade paper, for my eccentric ideas!
6. A huge packet of CCD filter coffee. All this only from the three musketeers. More to come!
7. A Best of Friends booklet. Totally hilarious!
8. A CD with some awesome music (picture this, all versions of Knocking On Heaven's Door in ONE folder!), awesomer e-books, and 10 years of Calvin and Hobbes and 2 of Dilbert. Cool or what?
9. R.K. Narayan's Malgudi Days.
10. Hugh Prather's Notes To Myself. (You guessed it, its never too difficult to shop for me!)
11. A li'l birdie whispered to me that my roomies are planning to give me a steel filter soon for those phases when filter coffee begins to run in my veins!
12. And the list is still not over, some pals are short on cash, while a couple of gifts are in transition... One of these days I'm going to kill these courier dudes. And of course, my Santa going to come avisiting soon!

I feel good. :)



Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Cry babies and snoring ol' men should be given a separate compartment in trains. Making us NORMAL people stay so close to them borders on violation of human rights.

Yeah, I had a great journey back home to college! Go figure :P